Dear John (…),
I have read and ignored many of your statements over the years, realizing that they are usually fueled by drunken ignorance and the need to be accepted after years of abuse by your peers (I mean seriously I can’t imagine that you were that popular in middle school considering the awkwardness of who you are now). I read the snippets that the media blasted to the masses regarding your most recent interview and I ignored it once again, thinking “who cares it’s another kiss and tell by John Mayer”. After reading more, I thought, if Jessica Simpson were my daughter, I’d pay you an old-fashioned house visit and set you straight. The irony in the guy who penned the perennial father/daughter wedding song being a notorious womanizer and cad is enough to make me laugh.
Anyway, while I found your comments about your past partners to be deplorable they chose to be in a relationship with you, it is the people who you targeted without any cause that bore the harshest of your statements…you decided to denigrate an entire wealth of women and their male counterparts on the basis of race alone. A few top 40 hits and all of a sudden you are “he who decrees them desirable”, really???
Just to clarify, I am almost embarrassed by my struggle to identify what is more offensive, your usage of the infamous racial slur or your stereotype of black women as undesirable. So, I’ll tackle them both with the most obvious being first.
There is never room for anyone to classify a person on the basis of race alone. I sense that you knew this was unacceptable the moment you uttered it but somehow felt that the loveable goof off with cross over appeal, could say the word since it was an attempt at being witty. Well, it didn’t work, so bottom line, stick to singing. A collabo with Kanye will never allow you to pull the “N” card out of your back pocket and play that hand unless you want a full house of people whipping your ass. I don’t even need to say anymore about that.
Now on to the major issue. I’m not offended that you don’t find my body to be a wonderland or that your genitalia “is like a white supremacist” when it comes to dating black women, honestly, you don’t have enough swagger to impress those of us who need not tan. What really makes you think we would find you attractive enough to engage? You don’t get to judge us and our level of attractiveness. We may not be in your spectrum of “dateability” but I would wager that for the most part you were never in ours either.
I don’t speak for black women everywhere but I would assume that most have never closed their eyes and fantasized about a well placed kiss from John Mayer, I mean you’re no Denzel, Shemar, or Maxwell. Why would we replace the fabulous men that come in black and brown with you. You don’t see the beauty in who we are and so you perpetuate the media stereotype that we are undesirable and that it is hard to find an attractiveness in any woman who isn’t white…think again my friend.
I know that Cosmo, Glamour, and Vogue have limitations on displaying the breadth of beauty that comes with the “brown” races, but the beautiful, intelligent, black women is not the myth that you and the media purport it to be. It’s not a Hollywood anomaly. We are on college campuses, in professional work places, middle and high schools everywhere. We are the inspiration behind silicon injected lips, jeans with booty pads built-in, and hair weaves in blonde and brunette. We are the envy of those burning in the molten heat on beaches across america, the reason that your icons lay on tanning beds and waste valuable hours of productivity while risking countless wrinkles. We are so fly that unfortunately even the negative stereotypes about us as women have caught on and become a desired trait (ugh, if I hear one more ignorant “blackcent”).
Finally, John, it will take more than a “tearful” apology and a display of all of your black friends, band members, and back up singers to make me think that you didn’t mean what you said. Don’t apologize for your preferences, you have the right to date who you want to (or not) but you don’t have the right to paint us as unwanted creatures, especially since we have avoided pointing out all of your faults (you make them so painfully obvious).
© 2010 Breezy