Reformation of the Bad Girl

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I’ve been bad…no doubt.

There’s a certain awareness that comes from being a girl born in a major city, who looks 18 at 13, and who’s a natural creative.  Everything about me was feelings, feelings, and more feelings.  Add a few daddy issues, cover it in the kisses of some mommy issues and voila….bad girl (smiling at the thought).  No amount of private schooling or Sunday mornings, afternoons or evenings at church can cure it.  What’s internal becomes external.  Natural curiosity is a dangerous thing when coupled with restriction and a banging body.

I’ve been bad…no doubt.

So that’s the quick without the dirty (the book will be good), I was a bad girl waiting to break free.  I have always had a love of life and a mind of my own.  A conservative Christian family that is trying hard to keep you on the straight and narrow without really discussing the truth of day to day life can be the exact opposite of what you need when you’ve seen enough to know that the other side is pretty damn interesting.  They were and are wonderful people but life isn’t perfect and neither was I.

I’ve been bad…no doubt

Marriage, children, a professional life, and a strong spiritual life weren’t enough to keep the bad girl at bay.  She was always there.  Suit up during the day and free up at night.  How free?  That’s another story for another day let’s just say that I tried to satisfy a few curiosities.  Being married to someone who was equally curious about certain aspects of life was helpful and dangerous at the same time.  Dangerous how?  When a man is satisfied it can be hard to say “no” to the woman he loves, when a woman isn’t ever fully satisfied she pushes for more and soon, she doesn’t ask, she just does.

I’ve been bad…no doubt.

Experience, maturity and a slap on the ass–my preference– from life can change things a bit.  The bad girl jogs into situations instead of runs, learns how to ignore the “words” thrown her way and takes less advantage of the weakness of men.  The bad girl learns to appreciate “how” someone loves her instead of “that” he does.

I’ve been bad..no doubt.

The one.  He comes along and engages the bad girl.  She’s purring like a sweet little kitty.  All of a sudden the bad girl is finding a measure of control that she never knew she would want to engage and interestingly enough it’s from a bad boy.  He’s loving her, she’s loving him back all while her good girl is gaining a little more power.  He loves her bad girl and definitely isn’t trying to change it but in the words of Wale, “he’s humbling her mean ass”.  And she’s not resisting.

I’ve been bad…no doubt.

But all of a sudden she’s being bad for one person.  The reformation has taken place.  Experience polishes the diamond and she is only interested in shining for him.  Behind closed doors the bad girl reigns supreme, publicly she regresses.

I’ve been bad…no doubt.

The bad girl still exhibits herself in swaying hips that can’t be contained, a smirk that unintentionally conveys messages that she may not mean and causes her to question if he can love the good girl.  Will he have as much fun with the good girl?

I’ve been bad…no doubt.

Make it easy, let’s be bad together.  But in the end, I’ll be good for you.

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2 thoughts on “Reformation of the Bad Girl

    1. Thanks! This was a hard one to write. I love music, all kinds of music, and find that when I like something most I’m relating to my own experience.

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